So I'm down in Orlando for a lawyer conference thing and really enjoying it so far. I am staying in one of those Disney-run hotels right next to Disney World: awesome. Due to time constraints, I won't be able to actually go to Disney World: not awesome. My balcony overlooks the Magic Kingdom and it is magical. I hate that I can't go and ride some rides and get some pics taken with the Disney gang. It's like staying on the beach but not being able to romp in the surf. WTF. At least tonight I got to see the fireworks. They were exquisite.
My hotel is one of those futuristic-ish themed hotels where the decor is very contemporary and cutting edge and designed to look like the future. Nice place, but apparently in the future, they won't have microwaves or wireless internet or toilets that flush consistently.
Staying here is truly like peering into the future in other ways. Everywhere I go I am inundated by children and beleaguered parents. Today I was walking through the lobby and observed a stroller parking area with rows and rows of strollers. I observed them with interest, since Gavin and I have been researching these compelling apparati.
My inner monologue: "Now there's a nice Chicco travel system. Agile, utilitarian, and I enjoy the color." or "Ooh - that couple went with the MacLaren Technno XLR. They must be doctors."
The flight down was interesting. Seated right next to me was a little fluffy yellow lab service dog. Very Sugarbear-esque. I could not believe my luck. She is trained to alert her owner, who has Type I diabetes, whenever he needs blood sugar or insulin. She was soooo cute and drugged up on Valium for the flight. I was allowed to love all over her, which was great. The flight scared her, and me, and everyone else on board, because we encountered thunderstorms and nasty turbulence. Poor baby, and yes I mean me.
Finally, I have to comment on the recent pop culture trend toward skinny jeans. These jeans would be fine if only the fat population had not decided to embrace them so feverishly. As I walked through the Orlando airport I became aware of just how pervasive the problem has become. I don't touch these jeans. I don't even have to try them on to know they are bad news bears on this caboose. If only others were as considerate. Dear Orlando and the rest of the world: Skinny jeans are for skinny people, so unless you're a celebrity, a European, or completely indifferent to food, statistically speaking, you should just move along.
I like to end on a b*tch note. Later!
6 comments:
You have done the world a great service. Skinny jeans are for the young and thin. Just because they come in a certain size doesn't mean people should buy them. Emphasis on "skinny." EDP, out.
I am crying because I am laughing so hard....I love the commentary on the strollers. I can tell you have done your homework.
You wouldn't be staying at "The Contemporary" would you? That "futuristic" hotel was built in the early 80s so....
When Skinny Jeans decided to rear their ugly head I was wearing maternity jeans, was extrememly bitter, and immediately hated them. Have ever since. Question: why do they make "skinny jeans" in such un-skinny sizes? I think people are confused by the name. They are made for SKINNY people...they will not make you LOOK skinny.
I agree 100% on the skinny jeans topic. Unless you are shaped like a little boy, they will not look good on you. Trust me - I've tried them on. And honey, these hips do not fit in skinny jeans! So there should be a decoder on the tag that says "Not suitable for anyone with curves!"
I laughed real hard at your comment on the skinny jeans and I could not agree more. They are awful!! I've only seen them look on celebraties. Leave it to them people.
Skinny jeans are not even in my vocabulary.
I read your blog just before we left on a trip to Niagara last week and when we, too, had a bumpy flight back yesterday I thought of you (since you admitted to the bumpy flight bothering you). I HATE bumpy flights, and it seeems like nobody else even notices. I just know the plane is going down when it gets bumpy, even though that is crazy (considering that bumps happen all the time and planes go down like twice a year).
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