Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Drama-lympic love.

So... I recently realized that, between the Olympics and CNBC, NBC Universal owns me. Actually, I began the CNBC weaning process today, limiting myself to Squawk on the Street only while I was getting ready to go this morning, and to half of Street Signs and only the first few minutes of Closing Bell. I thought it was appropriate for Lent. It went ok. Erin Burnett and Maria Bartiromo do not help me when they insist on making witty and insightful comments that I agree with. Damn you, CNBC and your qualified anchors. I'm taking it one day at a time.

And how 'bout those Olympics. I love them and all their delicious drama. I blogged about this in 2008 too. Allow me to supplement that post now.

1) The opening ceremonies, watching the cute little tiny countries march in with their cute little tiny contingents that have no realistic chance of earning a medal, or in Olympic parlance, "medaling." I think my best shot at getting into the Olympics is to obtain dual citizenship from one of these tiny nations, become a mediocre competitor, make the team, and be one of the 5 people to march in. At least I'd get to go and march, get a free brightly-colored parka, see the sights, meet some interesting folks, look cute in sweaters and stay in the "village." That's all I really want.

2) The dramatic back story profiles of the athletes. I love every soggy, gooey, musical montage-laden second. You know exactly what I'm talking about. NBC parties like it's 1998, rolling out soundtrack clips from Rudy, Forrest Gump, Hoosiers, Chariots of Fire, and sometimes even Titanic. Then they parade pictures and slow motion videos of the athlete as an embattled child. Usually the pictures/video show the athlete with at least one deceased relative. All this occurs while Matt Lauer tells the tale of triumph over adversity. *tears* *sniffle* *sob* *choke* .... gets me every time, folks. Bravo NBC.

3) The Barbra soundtrack that I find myself enjoying night after night with the skating competition. First it was "Send in the Clowns", then, "The Way We Were." Then last night it was "Yentl." If someone skates to "You Don't Send Me Flowers" ... I. will. just. die.

4) Curling. This could be my new career and my ticket to the 2014 party. I could so curl. I want to do the scrub-a-dub-dub part, which is clearly the more dangerous role, but I'm not particularly prone to injury, so it's ok. Research reveals that my new career thrives in Wisconsin and North Dakota. Well, geographic obstacles will not deter me.

Hope everyone is enjoying the games!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Latest obsessions.

So…. I’m obsessed with CNBC. I know this is random and I can’t explain how I got here but I pretty much watch this channel 24/7. It's bad. Yesterday was President's Day so the markets weren't trading and I was tremendously annoyed. I’m home with the shorty all day, and as much as I love that snuglet, at 12 weeks she is not the greatest conversationalist of all time. So until I start lawyering again next week, CNBC is helping me exercise the old brain. I majored in accounting in college, but I minored in barely paying attention, so it wasn’t until CNBC came into my life that I became the financial expert that now blogs before you. Stocks, commodities, bonds. I totally speak the language now.

I like to report what I’ve learned to the husby and to other actual people on the rare occasions I encounter them. I know all the anchors and I’m pretty sure we could be best friends. Especially Mark Haines and Erin Burnett, who come on at 9 a.m. and do their show right from the New York Stock Exchange. Their show is def my favorite at this moment and I want to have drinks with them reaaaaal bad. I could write them stalker letters. I won’t, but I could. Who wouldn’t want to be my friend? I’m interesting, right? I can talk about lots of things, like my theories on how pandas and polar bears garner so much media attention and how I get all pet peevey when people use “chock full of” as a descriptive expression. Ok, this is how I know I really need to get back to work. In fact, I’m going to start weaning myself from CNBC or it could be painful. I just decided. I'm lying to myself... I'll play "call the close" today.

The shorty likes CNBC too.

What else, what else. Oh yes, my other, newer obsession is the Olympics. I want to be in the Olympics. Help me pick a sport. Not luge. It’s not too late for me - I’m 30, but a spry 30. I could do something like curling, probably. Do not delay with suggestions because I do need to start training. Thank you.